Saturday, May 31, 2008


I think, sometime in the future, I will be having this conversation/situation....

40-something year old Nina is walking when someone she knows greets her from behind.

"Hey Nina. What's that you're carrying behind your back?"

(Nina looks behind her- sees nothing)
(She then looks lower behind her)

"Oh THAT! I don't know, but it looks like something that used to be an ass, no?"

"Ermm, it's a bit disproportionate, saggy, not at all bootylicious."

"Owh well, I've been working my ass off in my youth, can you blame this poor thing?"

It has been almost four months since my second first day in EY. I am not here to bitch about work, just to share some of my stories, hopes, observations and fears.

One of the stupid things that we auditors tend to do, is comparing who has worked the latest. It's not a real competition, but it can make you feel like you work harder than others, which is not necessarily untrue. It all depends on your job/seniors/manager. After a while, it gets tiring you know. Is it really getting you anywhere? When other junior associates started to tell me how they've stayed back working until 5am plus, I just kept quite, and just answered when asked. Can they actually top my work-till-7am-the-next-day + all-nighters + 7days-a-week + work-weekend-till-night?

(Last Sunday night, I brought my sis and fiance to office after catching a movie, to finish up something. A few of us were in office, working [read: Sunday night]. Kinilah baru mereka saksikan kehidupan auditor ha ha!)

I truely believe I have done a lot in this short span of time. If only I could chart my learning curve, I think it will look like this:

When I entered EY this time, I was placed under a manager which I had known during my practical time. For me, there is an advantage to that as he already knows my capabilities and it didn't take me so much to establish rapport with him. However, he is notorious for having what we call 'shit jobs' or 'crazy portfolio' which make us the staffs (including himself) suffer. As always, I would remind myself, I GET to do this , instead of I HAVE to do this.

Boy, it was so MANY things that I got to do! In less than four months, I did a complete audit of a company all by myself, from planning, field work, stat audit, drafting accounts, clearing review points (I got six pages of points from the manager, and only three points from partner- the manager mentioned a few times that it was quite a good file pheww!), following up with client on outstanding matters and all that jazz. I even touched a bit of tax, but just the easy part. I was even asked to create the charge code myself (still haven't done as it is quite more complicated than I thought it was; and nobody ever taught me how!).

Another thing I keep reminding myself is 'kerja kena lah ikhlas', and I try to live by it. Cannot ambil mudah so many things. Now I understand why TOC is so important (eh, is it relevant here?). Anyways, in my current job, I actually got to brief other associates about TOC and that they actually refer to me on so many things. I feel like a senior already lol! (well, other associates say I already sound like a senior).

Sometimes I feel like I'm a masochist. Haha. Suka terseksa?! And I still pity my firm/collegues/manager if the work is not done. I only took one day off for my convocation when my friends took like 2/3 days of leave. Why? Sebab kesian, banyak kerja nak kena buat!! *cough*workaholic*cough*.

And then, there are times when I feel clients hate me, and that they would think my questions are stupid and irrelevant. Other times I feel like my seniors/managers hate me and think I am incompetent. All the mistakes I made were so glaringly obvious and that my hard work means nothing. Of course it's all in my head, but I cannot help it. Other times, I am just SO confident! Ready to advice client, not afraid of anything because I'm doing my job.

To summarize it all, these are my

HOPES: Let me be the best A2 ever!! ha ha! Let me learn as much as I can. Let me master deferred tax! Let me get good JPRs! Let me be under a good manager/seniors after this (owh, I havent mentioned, my manager has resigned)

FEARS: As my old manager is gone baby gone, I'm afraid that I will be put under another manager with crazy portfolio filled with shit jobs, nobody is going to fight for me or give me good JPRs & I need to build rapport with new manager. I cannot cope. I am not as good as I think I am!

Hint: I may just resign soon! =)


Jalilah said...

Wah, you seem stressed! I wanna say "hang in there" but i just couldn't. I can't bring myself to say that coz aku pun mengalami perasaan yang sama. tension kan? But at least i had 2 days of cuti during convocation. Hehe. I just might resign soon, too. Hehe.

nina said...

Did i give u that impression from my post?! well, tidak lah stressed sgt, still manageable. sometimes rasa my job/responsibility is too big for me. heh.

gambate for you!!

my resignation is almost 50% sure (but not because im stressed with work ;p)