"Distance between Malaysia and London dah memang jauh, janganlah tambahkan the distance between us by not communicating"
"... I will always love you InsyaAllah"
If both of us read back what we have written in our letters exactly a month ago (or earlier), these words may not seem true. Fast forward one month, we are still communicating, and loving each other (I believe), just differently, as friends.
I will not do a post mortem on my failed relationship here because no benefit will come out of it. We both know where we went wrong, and I have learnt to accept it. There is only one thing I wish I could do differently if given the chance to press the rewind button.
In the beginning of 2008, I faced certain fears on what the year has in store for me. I remember being a bit emotional and distressed in the earlier weeks of 2008. The future seemed bleak. I was afraid that I couldn't juggle everything, family life, working life, and love life (I don't have a social life people ;p).
Life went on then. Apparently, I could do it all.
Until those unimagineable busy weeks; where I spent ridiculously more time in office than at home. All my time and energy went to my works, I didn't have time for myself let alone others. Night after night working late, driving home half-asleep and waking up the next morning with yesterday's work clothes. Forget about brushing my own teeth, I would rather have that five minutes extra sleep.
During these busy times, I did not lift my finger to drop a simple email or an sms. I did not initiate communication for one week. And that one week was all it take. I know things must have been bottled up for quite some time, I could feel it (call it women intuition), this was the right time to let them all out.
Maybe it was lack of effort/ indifference on my part, and change of heart on his.
Could I be sabotaging my own relationship with all those jokes/ remarks that I like to make? They did add up didn't they?
(Ni dah macam post mortem la jugak) =)
Now, I believe, both of us are coping very well. We are happy, aren't we? Maybe it means something when you are happy(ier) unattached.
I am optimistic, and there is always hope (I am not talking about reconciliation, but another person to fill what is now unfilled- though not that soon [are you crazy?]). Cuma, I don't know if I could find a person who would love me as much as you did when you did. At least I was a princess in someone's heart once kan? I thank you for that.
I don't remember how many people have I told about this breaking news, but surely my family haven't heared it from me.
Oleh itu, mak, abah, kakak, abang, keluarga tercinta, rakan-rakan, admirer-admirer, stalker-stalker, kekasih lama:-
I'M SINGLE Y'ALL!
(Who ever that have guessed about it from my previous entries or a couple of songs, give 10 points to yourself)