Wednesday, June 04, 2008

1 4 D X

"Distance between Malaysia and London dah memang jauh, janganlah tambahkan the distance between us by not communicating"

"... I will always love you InsyaAllah"


If both of us read back what we have written in our letters exactly a month ago (or earlier), these words may not seem true. Fast forward one month, we are still communicating, and loving each other (I believe), just differently, as friends.

I will not do a post mortem on my failed relationship here because no benefit will come out of it. We both know where we went wrong, and I have learnt to accept it. There is only one thing I wish I could do differently if given the chance to press the rewind button.

In the beginning of 2008, I faced certain fears on what the year has in store for me. I remember being a bit emotional and distressed in the earlier weeks of 2008. The future seemed bleak. I was afraid that I couldn't juggle everything, family life, working life, and love life (I don't have a social life people ;p).

Life went on then. Apparently, I could do it all.

Until those unimagineable busy weeks; where I spent ridiculously more time in office than at home. All my time and energy went to my works, I didn't have time for myself let alone others. Night after night working late, driving home half-asleep and waking up the next morning with yesterday's work clothes. Forget about brushing my own teeth, I would rather have that five minutes extra sleep.

During these busy times, I did not lift my finger to drop a simple email or an sms. I did not initiate communication for one week. And that one week was all it take. I know things must have been bottled up for quite some time, I could feel it (call it women intuition), this was the right time to let them all out.

Maybe it was lack of effort/ indifference on my part, and change of heart on his.

Could I be sabotaging my own relationship with all those jokes/ remarks that I like to make? They did add up didn't they?

(Ni dah macam post mortem la jugak) =)

Now, I believe, both of us are coping very well. We are happy, aren't we? Maybe it means something when you are happy(ier) unattached.

I am optimistic, and there is always hope (I am not talking about reconciliation, but another person to fill what is now unfilled- though not that soon [are you crazy?]). Cuma, I don't know if I could find a person who would love me as much as you did when you did. At least I was a princess in someone's heart once kan? I thank you for that.


I don't remember how many people have I told about this breaking news, but surely my family haven't heared it from me.

Oleh itu, mak, abah, kakak, abang, keluarga tercinta, rakan-rakan, admirer-admirer, stalker-stalker, kekasih lama:-



(Who ever that have guessed about it from my previous entries or a couple of songs, give 10 points to yourself)


HyRee said...

Ahh.. not only I lost 10 points. I failed miserably. This proves the fact that I'm usually the last person to know anything.
Whatever you do, good luck!

shockresistant7 said...

well..women's intuition huh? even though i don't/didn't really know what was going on i kinda figured it out, strangely enough. i guess it takes one to know one...glad you're happy though!

fadhli said...

and this coming from the guy whose room is right next to mine. hehe.

i pun nk ckp terima kasih byk2 nina, for everything.

Diana said...

Zarro (macam brave and mighty right?)

Jason is coming to Singapore!!! This August!! Tapi Singfest. A stupid festival. Only band yang best is Travis je yang ada yang lain macam bordo I not kidding wan. 200singdollars. I shall go bankcrupt but THIS IS JASON WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!! Oh Jasonnnnn. :o) And apa cerita jumpa Shaleelalalala?

nina said...

hyree: ala, ppl dont usually tell others this kind of news. fadhli bgtau 2 orang je kot. hee. but thanks anyway =)

maryam: it's unexplainable, but u can just feel it u know.
thanx- im trying

fadhli: tu la, korang tak mengamalkan concept 'sharing is caring'. hehe

(nanti tolong angkat kotak ha ha)

nanonano: yes, brave and mighty indeed!
well, tadi br jumpe shanana kan, dah puas gossip? (aaa so sweeeeet)

eventho cinta pada jason, its 200singdollars man! cannot afford. share the stage with others sumore. ntah2 jason dpt cam a few mins slot je. tak mau laaaaa. mahal. i think a few yrs ago pun he came to singapore for singfest jugak. not that interested la to go.

(but i still heart jason)

Suraya said...

hey you :)
been awhile since i last dropped by ur blog cos b4 this asik nampak hepy mezus day n ur bro's pic je :P

skali tup2 byk plak entry n i feel bad! :P hehe. ok2. i comment byk2 skali ok. bear with me!

1. VP RESIGNED???? or r u talkin bout some other mgr? omg update pls! he he.
2. i do NOT think u will ever quit bcoz nnt u 'kesian' kat ur colleagues etc. hehe.
3. it seems to me ur doing mighty well as an A2..if u were talking bout VP, i dont tink he puji ppl that much. at least not in front of u! so kuddos. plus i dok tgk what u do, i rasa cam i wud nvr b as good as u !
4. following that comment, im still unsure if i wanna become an auditor after i grad. if VP takde, lgla tanak :( uwaa dah la i lupa reply his text awal tahun ni :( wah i feel bad lg! huhu
5. u DO hva social life when karaokeing hahaha
6. yes it's a good thing if ur happier unattached. watched SATC movie? sometimes the labels make things all complicated when they'r really not. so only u n him know.

i hope ur doing fine my dear! drop me a line (kiranya rajin) if u wanna catch up ok :)

take care!!!!

aQieYa said...

cik nina... kat mana boleh redeem my 10 points? ;p

nina said...

suesue aya: dont feel bad. u have lots of entries too, hard to keep up =p

1- VP tak resign meh, he's a director already. I was under Desmond, but since he resingned, biasalah, i was loaned out.
2- I just might do! he he
3- Like i said, i wasnt under VP. yg puji i (ala, he just said it was QUITE a good file) tu ws an AM who reviewed my file. Ala, im sure if u hv to do what i did, you'd do well too=)
4- Tu la, think wise lah before doing audit. I still think it's the best platform for accounting grads, just bear the three long years. ha ha. (ape punya advice tu?)
5- hmmm. very occasionally.
6- well, havent watched it. dono whether they'll pasang it here. tapi AKAN watch it, later. Yeah, sometimes im happy, other times, still ade the sedih2 part. U know, it's still not that long ago.

u hv ym/ msn? easier to keep in touch=)

kiko: di kaunter perkhidmatan pelanggan =)
[ala, tapi aqie tak aci lah coz diberitahu oleh kedua2 belah pihak]

sue said...

heheh. ooo under Desmond ke...wah VP director dah ke? chiskudis daku ketinggalan. zeid havent been updatin me u see. lol.

here's my ym id: budakereks


Suraya said...

oh yea...btw...i pun rs it cant b denied la kan that audit in big four is the best platform for accy grads..but yeahhhh 3 years in audit is LONG! nge! confuse2

sarakay said...

Welcome to the singles club yo!

nina said...

yezza. single. available. and ready to mingle.