Benci. Benci. Benci.

I tried to forget it, consider it as a one time funny remark /comment that will stop, considering how insignificant the matter was. But NO, you just had to remind me how tak senonoh I look.

And this is not the only time my friendster picture was mocked. Ah, friendster! I guess today it has become SO important is it?

One time, a guy friend teased me about my pictures. The one snapped after playing futsal (which I love) or other sports (which I love too). No prize for guessing how oily or sweaty I looked like (well I don’t know how else I am supposed to look after a game). He said “entah ape lah, letak gamba muka minyak-minyak”. Of course he said jokingly, but you know.

That’s just me. Sometimes I look good. Other times I sweat. Sometimes I buat muncung. Other times I just act plain crazy. My friendster pictures represent ME. What I do. (Owh did I forget to mention, I put all these pictures in my OWN profile, not others?)

I complained to Nana about this. Thanks Nana for melayan-ing me even though this is so petty. I guess she just wanted to make me feel better when she told me her boyfriend said something about her eyes being sepet in some pictures.

These guys, I’m telling you, ingat diorang kacak bergaya sangat ke hapa dalam gambar? (well of course they are, but that’s not the point). Ada tu yang suka sangat control dalam gambar, pandang kiri, pandang kanan (anywhere but the camera), but did I say anything? Did I request (berkali-kali) for a change of picture? NO… I let them (you) be.

I don’t expect myself to be so affected by these kinds of comments, but when they come from YOU, a few times, they become hurtful. I was crying when my mum got home and was looking for me. She saw my tears and I just had to tell. Everything. I even showed her the picture that caused all this drama. Owh, the reassurance that she gave me. Mak even sounded ‘risau’ when I said benci benci benci so many times.

I know it’s not an exactly a pretty picture, but the prettiness is subjective right? When you think I look tak senonoh in it, I actually think I look cute. So? It’s not like I put a naked picture or self taken picture focusing on my porcelain face, with perfect make up with a caption “mY$elF…muAxX~~~”.

((Don’t you remember the day that picture was taken? It was on our tenth month together. After having lunch at Nahar’s and on the way to Liverpool Street Station? If you could just focus on the memory instead of my tak senonohness))

You asked me, I tak malu ke when that picture appear at other people’s profile when I leave a comment? Well, if I’m gonna get embarrassed, I would not put up the picture in the first place would I? Here’s what I think. It is YOU who actually got embarrassed by my pictures. I don’t know, did I tarnish your reputation or something? If you don’t want it to appear, just delete my comment. Simple.

I’ve told you so many times, I am not the ayu-ayu type (the type I know you prefer). So now I’m asking, are you having second thoughts?

I don’t like feeling like this, at all.